I think the wham-bam-punch-to-the-face-slam of Charlize Theron's Atomic Blonde did middling box office this summer, but I don't know why. It's perfect popcorn-action-fluff and should have been a box-office smash.
Sprinkled with a heavy stream of '80s new wave classics, this Berlin-set spy caper falls gloriously into the "style over substance" camp (and maybe even the camp camp). But don't think it doesn't know that too.
Enough about its paper-thin plot (spy, Cold War, MacGuffin, guns, watches, neon, synths), let's look at its look:
Eggshell wool trench and leather boots and gloves:
The thigh-high boots return with a black trench and scarf:
Seduction in scrunch boots and LBD (little black dress):
All business in a crisp white blouse and aviators:
So there's a total eclipse of the sun coming up in a few weeks, if you haven't heard. What would that once in a lifetime event be like without a taste of some apocalyptic fun? People have been fearful of heavenly body-related events for centuries, but don't worry. The world hasn't blown up...yet.
The low-budget, sci-fi/horror/teen comedy cult flick Night of the Comet (1984) is a fun way to set up your own "what would I do if I was one of the last people on Earth" fantasy plans. Yes, there are zombies around, but yes, you also get machine guns.
Teen sisters Reggie (Catherine Mary Stuart) - sporting Brooke Shieldsian brows and big, blown-out Dynasty hair - and Sam (Kelli Maroney) - sporting a big, blown-up, bubble blonde perm - are on the run from the post-apocalyptic comet event that has turned most of the population into red dust. It doesn't matter that both actresses were in their mid 20s when playing 18 and 16 respectively, just go with it.
"Petulant" looks good in the ketchup and mustard realness that Sam sports:
Uzis and hair dryers are their weapons.
It's great to see two young women as action leads in a 33-year-old movie, even if it was relegated to B-movie status. The $700K production made a profit of $14.5 million at the box office. B-movie can be big business.
Although some of the FX are shoddy and laughable, shots of the desolation vibe in the middle of a red-tinted, empty downtown L.A. is quite stunning, especially for such a small indie film.
The first half of Comet is a fun '80s blast of adventure, the sizzle of teens loose in the city. One of the most iconic parts of the movie is the sisters' shopping spree through an abandoned mall.
It wouldn't be the '80s without a montage sequence of trying on clothes, all set to a piss-poor cover of Cyndi Lauper's 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.' But the shoulder pad, mid-'80s businesswoman warrior look is on point.
Drop the blush brush, grab the Uzi.
Trying on ropes of pearls and fur coats comes to an end when they battle a bunch of teenage boy zombies who rule the mall. It's a fun, actiony stand-off and a highlight of the film.
But once the subplot about a small band of evil scientist/survivalists becomes the main plot, Comet starts to trail off. It becomes a bit of a Day of the Dead knock-off, with a slow, dull vibe that sputters when it could have been fast-paced and high octane. Instead the final third of the film becomes the slowest 95-minute "action film" you've ever seen.
But don't worry, the girls win...and rock an epilogue, with a simple one-piece bathing suit, beach wrap, and plastic mesh carry-all.
While Sam goes for fun in the sun, Reggie decides on buttoned-up, sister-wife, Mormon mother of two.
Although fondness for the fun, dumb, Reagan-era apocalypse of Comet is strong, I feel like a modern remake could be great, if done well. A sacrilegious idea to some, I know. But if someone with the sharpness of Ben Wheatley (Kill List, High Rise) or Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Baby Driver) got a hold of it, maybe it could sing? I'd gladly write the script.
In all my mid-'80s, HBO/Cinemax-watching glory, I never managed to catch a viewing of Sylvester Stallone's cheesy arm wrestling drama Over the Top. It looked like a combo action-adventure meets family melodrama...with semi trucks. I was...semi-interested.
Like another mid/late '80s cheeseball macho epic, Road House, I assumed at the time that it was not for me. I was wrong. I viewed Road House's ridiculous glory a few months ago. I had to check out this arm wrestling flick.
Because Over the Top is almost too stupid for words, how about we go with images?
He has pulley weightlifting gear....IN HIS TRUCK.
Stallone in full sideways mouth grunt/yell/scream. You'll get to see it a few times in the film.
You know Stallone's character Lincoln Hawk (not his porn name) means business when he moves his baseball hat backwards. He's ready to fight.
Arm wrestling competition contestants with chest-baring skank tanks and "awesome" shark t-shirts.
"Crazy" greasy bearded wild man wrestler drinking from a can of Valvoline motor oil (coz...reasons?) while Stallone and a hot bear referee look on in....disgust(?)
Bug-eyed, not subtle, loudmouth, main wrestler villain in his (not cool) 'BLASTER' t-shirt.
BLASTER possibly trying to pick up Stallone in a bar. Sylvester is stand-offish, aloof, and not into it.
Kenny Loggins teamed up with Giorgio Moroder (on the edge of his mid-'80s downturn) for the schlocky power ballad 'Meet Me Halfway.' It could not save the melted Velveeta cheese score.
Explain this look.
Action figures for your own fan fiction moments.
Lincoln Hawk's creepy, uptight tween son Mike Hawk is the other main character of the film. The character is supposed to be maybe 12-years-old but was played by a tiny, pre-pubescent 16-year-old actor.
Hey Mike, don't wear pristine white jeans to a grimy arm wrestling meet.
