Micro/Macro: the Big and Small Stories in British Horror

Tons of horror movies come out weekly and it's hard to keep up. It certainly is one of, if not the, highest volume film genre. It's great to see smart, budget-conscious (I won't say "cheap" cause that implies they're tacky, home-made little projects) horror films released amidst all the hackneyed movies that fill up the Netflix 'Horror' genre listings.

Two new-ish jewels that came out recently are from the UK area, and tell both intimate and larger-scale stories of various kinds of horror.

The Girl with All the Gifts (see above trailer) is of the "macro" kind, a somewhat small story encased in a larger, epic environment of global collapse after a zombie virus. In a militarized UK, a collection of hybrid, second generation children are incarcerated and used as test subjects for curing the virus.

Glenn Close stars as the head scientist who sees the cure as the shiny goal, whereas the children are all expendable specimens. The children's teacher Helen (Gemma Arterton) is the more empathetic heroine, and her favorite student is the titular character, the whip-smart Melanie (Sennia Nanua).

After an attack on their base, the core group of survivors make a run for it and it becomes a road zombie movie, in the vein of 28 Days Later or The Walking Dead. The effects are smart, small, and subtle. Aside from fallen city landscapes, any CGI nonsense is smartly kept to a minimum.

The Girl succeeds on its small team-focus in a larger world narrative, whittling it down to the main players fight for survival. It's tense, savvy, and still finds a new angle or two in the overdone zombie genre.

A Dark Song is another UK isles (in this case Ireland) horror/thriller but is much smaller in scale, a micro two-person story about loss and the lengths people will go to hold on to their loved ones.

Sophia (Catherine Walker) mourning the loss of her dead son, rents a house in the Welsh countryside and hires an occult "expert" Solomon (Steve Oram) to make contact with her son and find out the identity of his killers so she can seek revenge.

The dilapidated mansion itself becomes a third character as the length of time of their stay grows from days to weeks, and seemingly months as they "train" and study for this ritualistic seance to connect with the dead child.

Almost like a filmed stage play, the two go from curiosity to anger and hatred as their rituals slowly spin out of control. Like in The Girl, the CG is tasteful and used smartly. Budget constraints, and maybe a good old fashioned dose of British reserve holds A Dark Song back from becoming a ridiculous, by-the-numbers Hollywood schlockfest.

The pay-offs are simple and small and the amount of dour suffering in the film is not for the weak-hearted.

It's interesting how something as seemingly crowd-pleasing and larger scale as The Girl with a name actor (Close) could have such a tiny, direct-to-streaming release. Who knows what the intricacies are in Hollywood studioland where one seemingly sure-fire hit is subjugated to "direct to..." status, while another horror movie is chosen as the one that will probably "break through."

It is always a blessing though, for horror movie fans, when someone has done the thankless work of pushing the "good" films towards the light through a sea of noise, grabbing them before they slip through the cracks.

David's Rules - The Bonkers New World of Twin Peaks

So after a 26-year wait on television, we return to the world of David Lynch's Twin Peaks. Has there ever been a longer wait for a TV series to return? And if you expect to be watching a 45-minute episode every week, cut up with McDonalds and Coke commercials and promos for Roseanne, you've come to the wrong network.

Moving to Showtime doesn't just add the titillation of swearing, nudity, and violence, it's also a network that gave Lynch complete control to do whatever he wanted for the 18-episode run. The Suits knew the audience would be there, waiting for a return to the small Washington town. They just didn't know what that might look like.

If you're expecting "Miss Twin Peaks" or Diane Keaton-directed episodes, you're in for a rude awakening.

The first episode spends most of its time in both New York City and South Dakota with characters we've never met before, with just the Log Lady, Deputy Hawk, and the Horne brothers appearing from the original series.

Kyle McLachlan appears as well, not as Agent Cooper but as a nameless, murderous doppelganger with a penchant for creepy low-life hangers-on, like the always reliable Jennifer Jason Leigh.

The conventions that reined in the original series are now gone. The famous melancholic, almost sentimental score is nearly absent, with long scenes scored by droney machine noise or silence. The familiar ebb and flow of a network crime drama is missing, replaced with a disconnected series of vignettes that have yet to connect their puzzle-piece structure. Don't worry about spoilers, it's hard to explain how one scene relates to another.

As the second, third, and fourth episodes unspool, slow drips of the original Twin Peaks come back. A small sprinkling of characters from the old series appear, one-by-one, and the score returns in small measures. But it's not Lynch's goal to offer cozy nostalgia.

Time portals, astral projection, doppelgangers, catatonic states, anthropomorphic trees, decapitations, other planes of existence, and synthy pop bands like the Chromatics and Au Revoir Simone playing gloomy songs at the local Bang Bang Bar are all here.

Those aren't spoilers, that's just David Lynch being David Lynch.

Moore! Moore! Moore! Roger Moore RIP - in Song

Sad to hear of the passing of Roger Moore today. He did live a long (89 years), adventure-filled life, especially playing James Bond 007 for 12 years.

To celebrate the Bond I grew up on (although not my favorite; shhh!), let's go through his Bond theme library, song-by-song.


Live and Let Die (1973) - Paul McCartney and Wings

Bond meets blaxploitation. LALD is my favorite Roger Moore Bond movie and this theme song is one of the reasons why. A freshly, post-Beatles McCartney made the first "rock song" Bond theme with Beatles producer George Martin. Don't even think of mentioning the Guns N'Roses version.


The Man with the Golden Gun (1974) - Lulu

The underrated, forgotten '70s Bond movie, it's also another favorite. And for the youngsters (well 45 and younger) who only know Lulu from Absolutely Fabulous jokes, she was a 60s/70s pop star, tiny in size with a big belting voice. Carrying on in the rocky vein of LALD but sadly not much of a hit.


The Spy Who Loved Me (1977) - Carly Simon

It's now the late '70s, so the singer-songwriter era is well underway. We get Carly's lovely power ballad that starts off delicate and booms its way to the end. I guess it was either singer-songwriter or disco for a Bond theme in 1977. Nobody does it better, Carly. Although a few later themes might take your throne.


Moonraker (1979) - Shirley Bassey

Shirley Bassey started off the '70s Bond with Sean Connery and Diamonds are Forever and now ends the '70s with Roger Moore and another lush Bond theme (to date, her last). Can we talk about that for a second? I was hoping they would have brought Shirley back to introduce a new Bond with Casino Royale/Daniel Craig, but no. If Idris Elba, the rumored possible new Bond, is chosen, please let Shirley do her swansong Bond theme. She's turning 80 this year. The band I'm in will gladly write and produce it for you Ms. Shirley, and pull a Propellerheads thing twenty years later.


For Your Eyes Only (1981) - Sheena Easton

We've hit the '80s and we needed a big power ballad to get us through the beginning of Reagan. How about a 21-year-old from Scotland singing onscreen throughout the theme (a first, and last for Bond themes)? The beautiful Easton was probably a big bonus in making this theme a smash hit. Blondie was rumored to have been asked to do the theme, but the producers went with making Sheena a star instead.


Octopussy (1983) - Rita Coolidge

The theme is actually titled "All Time High" (could they really get away with a song called "Octopussy"?) and it's not only the weakest of the Roger Moore Bond themes, but also the weakest of the entire series. Originally new star Laura Branigan was supposed to have recorded this song, but meddling producers changed their mind and cast '70s has-been singer-songwriter Rita Coolidge instead. Shame that this song is a milquetoast ballad for LITE-FM at the peak of '80s British New Wave. Can you imagine Eurythmics or Culture Club taking on a theme at this time? We'll have to wait for Moore's final Bond film for that joy.


A View to a Kill (1985) - Duran Duran

The producers finally saw the error of their ways and knew they needed a pop hit single to bring in the MTV kids. Roger Moore was 58(!) when this Bond film came out so they needed a shot of young heartthrob energy. They found it in five pouty pretty boys from England and gave the series its only #1 single so far. What a way for Moore to say goodbye to the series with this mid-80s synthy bombastic hit.

I Miss My Ripley! 'Alien Covenant' is a So-So Party

Five years on from Prometheus, a muddled but strangely hypnotic prequel to the original Alien, we receive Alien: Covenant, a split-the-difference, crowd-pleasing affair that has as much going for it as it has bullets being shot into its own foot.

The common complaint of Prometheus was that it veered too far away from the original Alien quadrilogy and was too ponderous and reflective; too much philosophy, not enough xenomorphs.

It was Covenant's goal or "covenant," I assume, to fill more seats and put more guns in characters' hands. And we do get more action, more aliens, more gruesome deaths, but I'm not sure all of that "more" adds up to a better film. There are enjoyable moments and scares but it all feels perfunctory by the final act. As the CGI level increased, my interest level waned.

And don't get me started on a bizarre, why-are-they-doing-this-amongst-chaos shower sex scene in the final ten minutes. Huh?!

Michael Fassbender, glorious in his second-skin bodysuit, once again works wonders as both David and Walter, two different models of android with two different purposes. Not surprising that I get a replicant, Blade Runner vibe from his characters in this film. Fassbender is the best actor and character(s) in the bunch.

Katherine Waterston is the strong female lead we've come to know and trust in the Alien brand, but she's probably the weakest in the series. Granted, she's shook by the death of her husband at the beginning of the film (sorry to spoil, but will you be disappointed that a smug, sneering James Franco gets offed in the first ten minutes of the film? Me neither. Bad casting.), but she fails to rise above her soft-spoken, monotone delivery. I don't buy her last minute, end-of-an-Alien-movie expletive-ridden rants.

If you need to see how it's done, watch Alien and especially Aliens again for a master class in subtlety, variety of mood, silent strength, not-so-silent rage, and how to blow an alien away; how can one compete with the glorious Sigourney Weaver?

Blade Runner for Men, the Casual Affordable Clothing Line of the Future

With the release of 2049, can a retailer like H&M or Uniqlo release an affordable line of Blade Runner for Men clothes? The activewear line for a replicant hunter on the go?

Although he maintains mainly one outfit throughout the movie, multiple variations could be spun off.

• The trenchcoat with tall and wide collar in various earth tones
• The combo denim and striped long-sleeve dress shirt with stripey collar 
• The skinny, grid-patterned, blunt-cut necktie
• Muted charcoal chinos, fitted but not skinny

• Long-sleeve dress shirt with collar and odd, 8-bit video game pattern.
• Burlap-looking, burnt sienna-colored suitcoat

And I haven't even touched the villain line of Roy Batty/Rutger Hauer looks yet.

Dourly Optimistic: the new full trailer for 'Blade Runner 2049'

Finally the full-length trailer is here. Exciting, isn't it? I'm cautiously optimistic about this film. A sequel released 35 years after the original is quite a monumental film moment. Even Tron: Legacy didn't have that long a build up.

I like the gritty, dour films of director Denis Villeneuve (Prisoners, Enemy, Sicario) and when the "bright, optimistic spot" is the slightly less dour alien film Arrival, I shouldn't have to worry too much about 2049 being a bright sunny action comedy like Guardians of the Galaxy.

Harrison Ford seems suitably dour in his return as Deckard. I'm hoping that he's more of a supporting player, an extended cameo in 2049 and less a co-lead with Ryan Gosling. Or is he not too old for shoot'em up action scenes?

And is there a better actor to carry on the mantle of dour, mute glowering looks than Mr. Gosling? He's perfected it by now.

We have Jared Leto, looking icy cool and hopefully acting it as well. I'm assuming he's the new Tyrell-ish villain? Robin Wright could be good...bad...neutral?

We have dust storms, fallen monuments, flying cars, neon, holograms, rainy cityscapes, empty minimalist chambers of sci-fi desolation; is that last one utter destruction or just the peak of high-end living?

The Va-Va (Love) Vitch: 'The Love Witch' and Style Over Substance

I missed the original small theatrical run of Anna Biller's The Love Witch when it was out earlier this year. Now that it's online I decided to travel in my time capsule back to a recreated version of 1967-1973 California. It pairs well with the book currently on my bedside table, Joan Didion's Slouching Towards Bethlehem.

Both of these shine a spotlight on the darker edges of a hippie-filled California of the late '60s. One is non-fiction reportage, and the other is a fabulously intricate recreation of the Day-Glo meets pastel dreamscape of the B-movie exploitation/sexploitation/witchsploitation era.

With a two-hour running time (purposely paced as a slow-burn 1960s drama), for the ADHD generation it may be a trial to get through. But the long, languid, ambling pace seems to fit the bill for these type of grindhouse flicks, even if an 85 minute run time would have made this a more cracking little candy-colored thriller.

Even with its stilted acting (also on purpose, I assume) and languid pace, the visual feast of this film alone makes it worth watching. Style over substance? Of course. But don't let it stop you from enjoying:

A fondant and frosting covered afternoon tea in a womans' only tea room:

Flocked velveteen wallpaper, candelabras, and giant amulets:

Makeshift mini Renaissance Faires in the middle of the forest:

Overstuffed furniture in jewel tones:

Did I mention a live singing harpist in the tea room?

Giant goblets of love potions and fake Tiffany lamps:

And all the glorious powder blue and purple eyeshadows and false eyelashes you can handle: